Rin's Man Journal: Escape From Heaven
by goodnightsun
Summary: Captured by an angel, Rin is heald hostage in the Judgement Halls of a prison in heaven, waiting to be summoned by God. But... does that mean he's already dead? Is his life over, or did it barely begin
1. The End of the Beginning

**My first blue exorcist fan fic :D I have a bet with a friend of mine of whoever makes the best fanfic, so if you want to, go read Cloudyskysrain's fanfic. Im not the greatest updater…. But I hope you like it :D**

**Disclaimer- I do not own Blue Exorcist, and am not the smartest when it comes to religion. **

Chapter One.

The morning started off as any other Saturday. Yukio was off on some mission and I was left alone to suffer in the blistering heat. I slept, I read, I slept some more, I ate, and then I continued lying around suffering the eternal boredom that always seems to fallow loneliness.

How I wish now that I could have made better use of that day… I at least should have ate the last Gori Gori ice pop…. Maybe I should have said goodbye, since I honestly don't know if I'll ever be able to see anybody ever again. (wow, look at me, such a pessimist…)

You see, right now, I'm not suffering from eternal boredom or heat. It's actually pretty cold now, and I miss the conditions I had this morning. I don't even know where I am. I'm lonely, but the thoughts in my head keep me company and keep away that annoying boredom. A lot happened since this morning, but I'll write that another time.

I have a feeling that I'll have plenty of time to write down my thoughts. Wow. I only wish I could write this well in school but no… I choose to write nicely when I'm not being graded -.-~

Rin put down the ink pen and read over the paper before heaving a sigh of frustrating and ruffling his dark hair. He was really in a tough spot this time… not only that, but he had no idea where his sword was.

"Ok," he said to himself. "I gotta calm down and think this over. Ok. I got kidnapped by a freaky girl with wings and… I woke up here," he said to himself, thinking.

He remembered how he was walking out of his dorm when out of now a blinding light made him squint his eyes. Before he knew it, he was being awkwardly carried by what looked like an angel. Rin, not being the most…. flyable of people, screamed like a little sissy and jerked around, causing the angel to lose balance.

Annoyed, the angel did something he couldn't remember that caused Rin to fall asleep. And so, when he awoke, he was in a small cell that looked similar to a jail cell. It had three walls made of cold cobblestone, and one that was filled with bars. The only things in the room were a small table and chair with a lit candle, and a pen with an ink pen on it.

The only thing he could remember the angel saying was "Calm down, the Great Lord wants to speak with you and if you fall then… that would be bad…." Sadly those words did not calm him down as much as the angel expected.

"So God wants to talk to me…" He said to himself., snapping out of the flashback. A cold feeling ran down his spine as he said that name. "God… wasn't he the one who supposedly defeated Satan? He's supposed to be the good protector, and yet…." Rin stopped before he could admit he was scared. Fear was only going to bring him down.

And anyways, he did nothing wrong, right? Right?... He took a deep breath and gave a shaky smile. "Right," he convinced himself. "I mean… I am gonna become an exorcist. And God's awesome! I mean… he's a savior, right? Aw, I was so dumb to be scared –laugh laugh-… it's not like he thinks that I'll be on Satan's side just 'cause I'm his son and have half his power! Yeah! God probably just… just… wants to have a chat with me… about… uhmm… something!

Yeah, something! Not like he can have a talk with me about nothing, right? 'Cause you can't have a talk about nothing! –laugh laugh- You know, the pain of fear is worse than the fear itself! And anyway, this is probably just a dream! If I pinch myself now, I won't feel a.…I thought it wasn't supposed to hurt... oh, god, who am I kidding…" Rin slowly shook his head at his own foolishness.

He tended to talk a lot when he needed to calm down, even if the person he was talking to was himself.

"But it's gonna be ok. I mean… if God supposedly saw me as a threat… wouldn't he have killed me already? I mean,"

"Oh, can you please shut up! There are other people in here, you know! Gosh, we all liked it so much better when you were asleep!" the loud voice of a man was heard from across the stone wall

"Yeah. Ugh. Listening to you talk is worse than listening to Kaino sing!" another angry voice agreed, making Rin feel even worse about himself. He had a feeling from the tone of voice the man used that Kaino was not the most talented singer

"Hey, I'm not a bad singer…" a shrieking voice answered

"Dammit, he's awake…." Everyone in the jail seemed to groan in unison at that fact.

"Look what you did now kid…ugh.. do you even know what time it is?"

Rin had a feeling that he was expected to respond, so he answered honestly. "No…"

"Good 'cause none of us do," a few people chuckled at the joke and a hearty laugh was heard far away.

Rin decided that now was a good time to get some answers. "So…. Where are we?" he asked.

The laughter suddenly stopped and the mood changed to a tight atmosphere "You're in heaven…" a serious voice answered. Even Rin was able to tell the pain in the man's voice as he said those words.

"But you may not be here for long…" Another voice fallowed, but this time the speaker was in front of Rin, and this time the speaker's voice was cruel.

Rin looked to his right where there was no wall, but a few bars sticking from the ground to the ceiling. Behind the bars was one of the prettiest people (was she a person?...) he had ever seen. Her golden wavy hair haloed her head and seemed to shine even in the pale light of the candle. It ended in a base of curls which drowned in the darkness of the hallway. Her eyes were startling. One the color of amber held in the sunlight, the other of an ash sky on a dull winter day. But the most startling feature of hers was the two wings neatly tucked on her back. It could have been just the candle's light shadowing it, but Rin could have sworn that one of her wings looked black while the other was of a creamy white.

"What do you mean?" Rin asked once he realized that he was staring way too creepily. He was glad that it was too dark for the angel to see his blush.

"You're probably all going to hell for the crimes you committed, but not you, boy. You seem to be more important," the angel gave a cold smile before leaning against the opposite wall. Rin had a bad feeling in his gut. That angel did not seem like someone weak.

"Tell me, dear human, is that nonsense you were blurting really true? About you being Satan's son and all?"

Rin was just about to say yes until he saw the girl's eyes. After that, all he wanted to do was crawl in a hole and die. It was not a meak glare she was giving him. She looked at him with the ferocity of a broken angel, because after all, that is partly what she was. Not that he knew any of that yet.

He didn't know what to answer, but she didn't seem like the type to take a lie well. And after all, Rin isn't the best liar.

"Yes," he said after a good minute of debating. The angel said nothing, but the glare she gave seemed to speak for her. _You disgust me._

With that, she left the candle light and walked off into the darkness of the hallway, her footsteps barely making any noise.

"What's with her?" Rin thought out loud.

"Oh, don't mind Asai. She can't hurt you,"

"Physically…" another prisoner added

After the encounter with Asai, nobody seemed to want to talk anymore, but they were all wide awake.

"So… what are you in here for?" someone asked, interrupting one of Rin's rare thinking moments.

"I… really don't know," he said honestly. What did she mean by "go to hell"….

"Oh, come now! You must have done something to end up here,"

"I'm still not very sure where 'here' is…" Rin started pacing, since he felt like he couldn't stay still any longer.

"The boy's confused, Shi. Explain it," Rin stopped pacing and made sure to listen well. He heard an annoyed sigh and a short pause until the voice started.

"You, my boy, are in the halls of heaven. The Judgment halls. We all are. And one day, Asai is going to come in here and release every one of us. We either go to the lower circles of heaven…. Or hell. I don't know any more than that, but what I do know is that we are all dead, and hope of going back to earth is nothing more than a foolish dream," his voice was dead. Then again… he really was dead. Everyone in this prison was dead.

Did that mean Rin was dead, too?

**SOOOO… yeah… uhm. Cough cough. Please review :D was it bad? Good? Yeah… the note at the beginning doesn't really sound like something rin would say but…. Hey, dire circumstances can really make someone serious xD well… thanks for reading!**


	2. Doubt and Denial

Chapter two

**_People often categorize darkness and light as being good and evil. The question is, which is which?_**

_So… Apparently…. I'm in heaven. :O GASP. I know right…. I mean. I honestly never thought I'd come to heaven … you know… I always thought I'd be too badass for heaven (xD nah, I'm just joking) after meeting Shi and everyone, I don't think there's such thing as too badass for heaven. Those guys are so awesome! I mean… yeah… they may be going to hell, but they really don't seem to deserve it!_

_I'm still just trying to calm down about the whole "God wants to talk to me" situation. I still don't think it sunk in cause… I'm not in severe depression, and this situation seems to be one of those things that would cause severe depression. Hey, I've been through so much, I guess this isn't as bad!_

_... yeah, I know. Denial... Shi said that denial is the best out of the phases people go through once they get put into the judgment cells, 'Cause during denial, you still have that small glimmer of hope that this is all a dream and you'll wake up. Yes, depressing, I know… But, hey… I still have hope for the future! Even though Shi said that hope is stupid because there is none, I'm very hopeful that the future is not hopeless!..._

_Shi just said that they're gonna rip out all my hope and dangle it in my face, using it as a tempting weakness to cause even more pain to me…. SHI IS KAWAII . haha. Well. It's all ok :D I… am very hopeful! God is forgiving, and I have nothing to hide…or so is my story… (but really.. I don't… nothing very bad that's worth mentioning…)_

_So ill write again later… you know…whenever later feels right.. I have no idea what time it is so… im not sure when later will be. ~rins man journal (as Kaino calls it)_

Rin put down the ink pen. He hadn't noticed the night before, but there was a window on the wall opposite of the bars. The window was too high to see out of, but bright light poured down, illuminating the cobblestone floor.

The place seamed peaceful in that light, so calm and relaxing. Rin felt somewhat safe, though panic was slowly starting to grow in his heart.

_So I'm really in heaven_… he thought, tempted to try and look out the window, but no matter how high he jumped, he couldn't reach it. He was afraid that if he tried to use the wooden table to see it, he would break the table… if he wasn't in the situation he was in now, he wouldn't mind breaking the table but... it doesn't seem like the right thing to do.

Rin sat there, looking at the light from the window, until he finally came to the conclusion that if he was in heaven, he might as well have a glimpse of how it looked like.

So he grabbed the table and pushed it near the wall with the window.

Just as he was about to climb the table when a voice stopped him in his tracks.

"What do you think you're doing, you dirty rat? You don't deserve to see look outside that window. Until judgment has come, you are not allowed to see the beauty of heaven," He looked behind to see Asai glaring daggers at him.

"Oh, what?... no, I wasn't… uhm… I was…" Rin began, searching his mind for a possible excuse, and coming up empty handed. "was cleaning the table…"

She raised her eyebrow and slowly shook her head in disappointment, "if you come up with a comeback, at least make it a good one…" she walked away from the cell towards the direction of the other prisoners.

"Kaino. Your time has come. The council has decided that you are not worthy of living the life of pleasure in heaven, and that you are not worthy of reincarnation either, yet. Until you have paid off your sins, you are to stay in the upper circle of Hell,"

"no… please… please, give me some more time. I beg of you, I will redeem myself. I am worthy, I did-"

"silence, prisoner. The council does not rethink their decisions. Their word is final," she had a cruel way of putting it, yet the prisinor did not give up in his attempts of persuasion.

"No! No, you see, I have changed! Please, I can prove to you that really, i have!" the prisinor shouted, panic breaking his voice. Rin was shocked by the cruelty and horrow of the scene. He had never really thought about it, but... was hell really that bad? If he was dead... then life was only a simple stage of the big picture. Were there lives really over, or were they just starting? And how long would that prisinor have to suffer for their sins? Their mistakes?

He heard the sound of a gate opening, muffled by blood gurgling shrieks. He couldn't take it anymore. Rin put his hands on the bars of his cell and shouted as hard as he could to be heard through the obscure words of the yelling prisinor.

"STOP IT! REALLY, HES NOT A BAD GUY!" He couldn't see Asai or the prisinor from where he was at, but he could tell that Asai was glaring at him through the stone. "CAN'T YOU GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE?"

"Did you not just hear what I said, boy? The council already gave him enough chances. You don't know his sins, how could you say he's not a bad man if you barely know him?" by now the prisinor was silently sobbing, and Rin was angered, trying hard to keep his cool and not release his flames.

"Because I didn't do anything either and I'm in the same position as him! If he was truly someone bad, then he wouldn't be here in the first place, right? He would have gone straight to hell! He wouldn't have joked around with everyone here, or made freinds! A bad person doesn't-"

"And who are you to say who deserves to be called good and bad?" The angel added casually, silencing Rin. "Who are you to say where he deserves to be put? Who are you to question the orders of the superior?" her words were not cold. Not warm. But rather dead, as if she was talking more to herself then to him.

"I... I'm," he stopped, not knowing not to say. His anger was doused by the angel's responce. He wasn't sure what was wrong and right anymore, something he rarely had difficulty with anymore.

Kaino was a bad guy... and bad people that did wrong things go to hell, right? So... he was always a bad guy? Are people just born bad? Was he bad? But... he was going to become an exorcists. Exorcists work for god... they must be good.

So is it even possible for a bad person to do a good thing? Or backwords... good person do a bad thing? Or does that taint them?

So confusing. But... he couldn't become an exorcists. Not now... he was dead, wasn't he? Even though he failed to believe it, he really could be dead. Was he bad for being born Satan's son, or good for trying to become an exorcist?

"What is good and bad?" He thought aloud. It had turned silent, causing his words to echo louder then they were. For a second, he thought that he heard a whisper saying "isn't that what we're all wondering,"

"I don't know. I fallow orders. I am not one to judge," Asai answered, quiet sadness and shame lingering in her words. Rin did not know what to do now. His thoughts were clouded by doubt. Doubt that what he was thinking was wrong. Maybe Kaino really was a bad man, and he really did deserve to die. Rin felt out of place saying that he needed another chance.

For once in his life, Rin felt uncertain about everything. He wasn't sure what good or bad was, or what would await him tomorrow. He didn't know if he would ever see his freinds anymore. He wasn't even sure if he was alive.

For all he knew, his funeral could be going on at that very moment. Despair was currupting his once sure mind.

"Don't question it, kid. You won't find answers," she sounded convincing and sure, as if she knew from experience. A Black and white angel...

Finally, the screaming silence was broken by the sound of footsteps, heading toward Rin's cell. Asai came into his view, carrying what seemed to be a small box.

Rin was just about to say something when the words caught in his throat. He saw what was in the box. It was nothing shocking, but a small statue made of the purest black stone. It was carved to look like a man, and a horrible feeling came from looking at it.

Before he could tell what the man's face looked like, Asai had walked too far for him to see. Then came the sound of a door opening, and then closing again. And so he was left alone with a silent hall of prisoner's in cells, and a confused mind.

**~so. this boring authors note is now going to ruin the suspence that i was trying to build up. Yeah... odd chapter... i wouldnt blame someone for disliking it. I kinda got carried away so... yeah, thats my excuse. PLEASE REVIEW. pretty please? Your words can really help me. Please excuse any spelling errors or grammer errors i may have missed, and i hope you liked the chapter :D**

**oh... i almost forgot. DISCLAIMER. i do not own blue exorcist. **


	3. Wants and Needs

Chapter Three

_And so that's how the denial phase ended. In the shrieks of a prisinor and the questions of a creepy angel. Kaino was taken yesterday. Now the halls are empty of his annoying singing, but nobody's glad. After what happened yesterday (was it even yestarday? Time moves so slowly, for all I know it could have been years) nobody seems to want to talk anymore. Shi and the others used to joke around and talk to pass the time, but the encounter reminded everyone that time was running out, and soon they would be the ones screaming and begging for forgivness. Or maybe they would go to heaven... even though we were already in heaven... oh, you know what I mean. But...I don't wanna go to heaven._

_I still don't accept the fact that I'm dead. Your telling me that I have survived against demons, even Amaimon, and a stupid little angel kills me without even letting me put up a fight? Or was I already dead? But then... how did I die.. and... where was my sword. Was it with God now? Maybe that's what he wanted to talk to me about._

_Dammit, theres so much to think about... I miss denial and hope _T_T. _I also miss Yukio...and everybody else... But I'll see them again. I will. ~Rin._

He reread the note as the pen lingered on the surface of the paper, staining it deeper with ink. He hadn't realized it until now, but every time he went to write on it, the paper was blank. He was sure that nobody was in the cell, so nobody could have changed the paper.

Now that he thought about it.. he never left the cell, even to go to the bathroom. He had been in heaven for a pretty long time, and yet he didn't need to go. Even more surprisingly, he also wasn't hungry.

"Shi, do you ever get hungry? Why is that?" Rin asked, hoping the answer isn't "cause we're dead" like it usually is.

"Cause we're dead," Shi said back, ruining the little chance Rin had of actually getting an answer he wanted.

"Are you sure? That can't be it. Death... I wasn't ready yet. I couldn't have died! I didn't even put up a fight!" Rin almost yelled. He felt a pair of warm eyes looking at him through the cold and damp stone. But really... his death was meaningless! Nothing could prove him otherwise.

"Rin, what better death could you have wished for if not a painfree and simple one? Or rather... Would you rather be alive and have the chance to escape, or be calm knowing that you'll be going to calm?" Shi's voice was oddly familiar to Rin.

"I would like a death that was worth dying. A death that was used to save someone or make a difference for the better, and..." he thought for a minute.

"Shi, why even play with the boy? Neither of those are option's" Another voice interrupted. Rin recognized the voice as Kinjo's, another prisinor who was diagonal from his own cell, and across from Shi's. "He isn't alive. And if he were, he can't be calm. He wouldn't know whether or not he would go to hell," the voice sounded slightly angry.

"Calm down, Kinjo. It was just a question, no harm done. So then, which would it be Rin, Heaven or life?" Shi asked, an odd tint in his voice. As if he found the question slightly amusing and was was smiling lightly as he asked it.

"Well... I would say life but... I'm not sure what heaven's like so..." Rin started.

"Ok, let say heaven's like... kinda like this..." the voice said, and before Rin could ask what he was talking about, a warm feeling went through his body. It was like... that warm feeling you get after you were just in a blizzard... combined with the happiness of winning the lottery. It was a safe, relieved feeling that tasted better then homemade chocolate chip cookies.

But then when it ended, the shock of the situation fell back on Rin's shoulders, and the cell never felt colder. So he had to choose between that and his crummy life? That's like choosing between eating a rotted apple or a slice of chocolate cake for dessert.

He would choose heaven in a heart beat, but... what about the promises he made to himself? He would become an exorcist and make himself, Old Man and everybody proud. He would protect people, and defeat Satan.

_But what about safety. Everybody you know will die eventually, and when they do, they will be here. The past won't matter. Why live a hard life which will eventually end up to nothing when you can live here, in heaven _his thoughts said.

No. I... I can't die yet. My life was meaningless... I... I need to...

_No. you need to be happy. You need to go with the flow, not resist. Come on. You know what you want._

But what I want is not what I must do. I have to do whats better for everyone.

"So then?" Shi asked, saving Rin from his own temptations.

"I want to stay in heaven," Rin answered. Shi knodded and laughed a light chuckle, seeming somewhat dissapointed.

"But I need to go home," he said again, resolution in his voice. "and I need to escape before I am judged..." He remembered Kaino. It seemed like the angel was powerful. Was he powerful enough to get past her?

Well he had to be. There was no other choice. But... what would happpen even in on the off side, he really did escape the prison? He would be still be in heaven... how do you escape heaven?

"heh. You're insane if you think you can get past Asai, let alone the other angels," someone said.

"Is there any way you can get out of heaven?" Rin asked, not expecting an answer.

"Well, there is the..." Shi began.

"SHUT UP, DON'T RAISE HIS HOPES YOU IDIOT. Just shut your mouth, Shi. You know he has no way. He doesn't even have his sword, how could he..." Kinjo stopped talking, and a loud ugh was heard, fallowed by a curse.

"Wait... how did you know about my sword?" Rin asked after a minute. Light laughter was heard from somewhere. "and there's a way to escape heaven?"

"No!" yelled Kinjo at the exact same time Shi calmly said "yes,"

Finally. Something Rin wanted to hear.

**~thanks a ton to all you people who reviewed xD I owe you people for making my day. Message me if theres every anything I can pay you back with :D I know this chapter was a bit... boring. I mean. It barely got anywhere. And it was really kinda short... But... at least Rin found out something interesting. REVIEW, and tell me if i was a bit repetitive, cause i might have been... and excuse any grammer and spelling mistakes i didn't find.**

**DISCLAIMER: i don't own Blue Exorcist. Yes, I know you already knew that but... just wanted to make sure. So thanks for reading and rock on!**


	4. Father Dearest

**Sorry I didn't update in such a while... thanks for reviewing, favoriting, and alerting, guys :D**

**Chapter four.**

_Finally. A chance to escape. Shi said that there is a place in heaven that can teleport people back to earth. Problem is... they have to be human. Soooooo...am I human? Or am I a soul like everyone else here is. I really don't think I'm dead. So, I have decided that I should ask Asai. Obviously, she won't answer. BUT, it doesn't hurt to ask. Who knows. She might know something, and might actually say it. Ha. As if. I decided that if I have even a slight chance, I NEED to leave before God speaks with me. Who knows... the only reason they haven't passed judgment on me yet is cause he want to talk to me, so I should probably.. Oh. I think I hear Asai coming..._

Rin put down the pen and listened for any footsteps. Surely, he heard the soft noise of walking. Asai came in the cells often, checking on what the prisinors were doing. Of what Rin understood, she was the guard to this wing of the prison. Somebody even told him that there was a rumor she, too, was once a prisinor in this exact wing, and that she tried to escape so many times that she knew the escape routes better then anyone, and so she could easily stop any fugitives.

It was said that when they judged her, they saw that her strong heart was steady, but somewhat misguided and wrong, and so they made her an angel for her strenght and purity, but made one wing black to mark her as slightly bad. They also made one eye grey, symbolizing how she sees everything with a clouded mind.

The stories say that Asai was so mad by that, that she refused to be marked. Angered that she did not appreciate their good will, the council forced her to be a lowely gaurd, even though her powers were beyond those of one. Angels were normally protectors, messengers, and their power was beyond that of most councilmen. It was mindblowing to think that an angel was right there, a few feet away from them.

Her power was so strong, that Rin realized a pang of fear strike his heart when she looked at him. He was scared of her, remember all of the legends of the mighty power of angels. Every time Rin found himself fearing Asai, he reminded himself that he was strong too, and that she was just Asai, and the pang of fear would diminish. After all. She was just an angel. A guard.

And those were just stories and rumours, and Rin tried not to be afraid of Asai or her glares.

Rin waited until Asai was in seeing distance.

"Hey, Asai, am I alive?" Rin asked, looking at her with hopeful eyes. She turned to him, sending a chill down his back. He ignored it as he waited for her answer.

"Sadly.." she said in an upset tone. Rin took that as a yes, and a burst of confidence ran through him. He didn't even doubt whether or not she was lying. His tail wagged without his notice. Actually, he hadn't noticed his tail at all these past few days.

"And is there a way to get out of heaven?" He asked, giddier. She glanced at him with a look of... somewhat shock, wonder and question. The look suddenly turned into a cold bored one as she disguised her thoughts, and she looked away from Rin (who by the way was floating in a patch of hope and not even feeling slightly afraid to show it)

"Yes," she answered bluntly, slightly hesitant. She was about to walk away when she gave him another look. It was, to put it crossly, "whatever you do, do not try to escape. Your life will be horrible if you do. No. I take that back. Your life will first end, and THEN be horrible. You can be sent to hell for even thinking of escape.." Yes. It was quite a long look she gave him.

But Rin, being too caught up in his serge of confidence, misread the look and took it as just another glares, which had no affect in his state. He continued smiling stupidly (he couldn't help it) as Asai could only shake her head at him and sigh at his stupidity.

After walking down the hall, and then back, she left with a loud thump of a heavy door.

"Shi. You are to blame if that foolish boy actually attempts to run away. You were the one who gave him the horrid idea, and it will be your fault when the boy fails. I just hope that he will know better then to try," Kinjo scoffed.

"Oh, theres no harm in dreaming, Kinj. Come on, Rin. Dream all you want..." there was what seemed like persuasion in his voice. Rin wished he could look through the stone wall and see the look Shi was giving him. Was it one that said "Do it. Hope is never lost, even though I said it was" or one that yelled "He is a fool, but let him be one. Let him smile before he understands the void of hope..." Rin could only imagine what Shi was trying to tell him.

"Don't do it, Rin. Go with the flow, and the flow isn't planning a major escape.." a nameless voice said.

"Yeah... We all know where that got Asai..." Another fallowed.

"But you guys gotta admit... a battle between Satan's son and an angel HAS to be interesting.." a laughter fallowed the voice. Everybody agreed but Rin, who was hating the idea, and was also a bit confused as to how they knew..

"Wait...how did you guys know that I was..." he asked. There was a slight moment of hesitation before Shi came up with a logical answer.

"We... heard Asai say it on the first day..." the jail members all quickly agreed, but rin was still curious for a second. First they knew about the sword, and then about his powers?...huh. "Oh, and when you were talking to yourself the night you woke us up..." he added, a bit annoyed. Well that answered that...

"You're not really serious about it... are you?" someone asked. Rin nodded enthusiastically, but then stopped once he realized nobody could see him. He was scared to death of the thought of fighting an angel, but please, not even fright or logic could stop his dumb happiness once it was set.

"Of course I am! I'm strong enough, I know it! Even without my sword, I-"

"Don't overestimate yourself, boy. You can be strong, but you'll never be as strong as an angel. You are Satan's son. She is A higher member of the council. You are evil. She is...somewhat not. She is right, and you are wrong, so know your place and stay in it," Kinjo's voice held warning, but even that didn't suppress Rin's smile.

"Oh, I can't wait to get back home! Theres a chance (a quite high one...) that I won't make it the first time... but... thinking about it would just weigh me down!" Rin took the ink pen and started scribbling.

He was excited, and pacing was boring, and so he drew a stick figure of himself with flames. He put a minus next to it and drew a scrawny angel next to the minus sign. Then he drew an equal sign, and wrote SUCCESS in huge letters. Rin - angel= Success. For who? Rin thought himself, obviously, but everyone else was doubtful. He was pretty doubtful, too, if not for the happiness. Did he not just tell himself how scared of Asai he was? And yet, he told himself he was strong enough and smileed on as everyone else just doubted his victory. No. I wouldn't say doubted. They just plain out denied it...

In the fallowing hours, Rin practiced. He practised excercising, and karate (don't ask... he thought it might help...) but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't summon his flames. They were easy to summon, and actually pretty hard to control, and yet... no matter how hard he tried or angry he got, nothing was combusting into flames. Not even the paper or table...

He was convinced it had something to do with the fact that he was in heaven, and it kinda hurt the confidence he so desperatly needed. How could he possibly stand a chance without his flames? or his powers? He was a demon. Demons didn't belong in heaven, so it would be understandable if his powers wouldn't work, but... he never thought that it would be so.

Still... his confidence was somehow still alive. Without realizing it, his gaze had been pulled to the simple table and the paper with the ink pen (which to his dislike, was not engoulfed in blue fire)

His eyes widened at the paper, now almost blank. It would have been completely white if not for a few words written in fancy script. They read, Hello Rin. Surprised, Rin read the words over and over again before questionably answering out loud "fine?"

He watched as more ink magically looped across the paper, forming perfect words. "How is your escape plan going?" the words asked.

"WHAT ESCAPE PLAN?" he awkwardly yelled, looking around in a scared fashion. "I know nothing of an escape plan..."

_Not a very good liar I see. _The paper wrote. Rin glared at it with confusion before deciding it was no use hiding anything from the magical paper.

"Who are you talking to, kid?" Shi asked. Rin asked himself that as well.

"The paper..." he shouted back, realizing how stupid that might sound.

"oh, hes crazy?" Rin heard somebody whisper. "seems so..." another whispered back. Rin partially agreed with them before looking back at the paper.

"Who are you?" Rin asked the paper, keeping his voice low so that nobody would hear him (which was hard when practically any sound echoed throught the walls.

_Father. _

The word looked so foriegn and mysterious on the paper. Father? As in God? Or Satan? Funny how it could mean both. Maybe it was Shiro... or a priest. Oh, that word had so many meanings, it would be less confusing to just pretend it was a paper speaking to him.

"Who? What Father? God? Shiro?" Rin said the last name hoping it was him the most.

_Father _the paper stubbornly wrote, giving him the feeling that it was the closest thing to a logical answer he would get.

"ok, ok. So what do you want?"

_I would like to know more about this foolish escape plan of yours._

Rin questioned what he should tell the paper, and took to mind the fact that it might be God or Satan. He wondered which was worse...

"I don't know. It seems stupid. I shouldn't try to escape, I don't even have my powers..." He said that more to himself than to the paper, but he was happy with the answer and shunned his confidence. No. He hated the answer. He needed his confidence. Or rather, his confidence would only bring him down and...

HE WOULD GET IN TROUBLE. NOT WORTH IT. Not worth it to want escape and then fail. Shi's words were finally getting to him, confusing him. He forgot about the paper for a second and instead thought.

But he didn't know what to feel or think. He wanted to escape. He will escape. Ugh. No. He... he wanted to see Yukio again. His brother... he needed him. To never see Yukio or Shiemi or Shima or Mephisto (well... that he could live without...) was just a sad thought he couldn't deal with. He promised himself he would defeat Satan. His dreams... they would all be wasted if he remained in heaven. He would die... he might already be dead... he may even be dying... he know so little. His ignorance sagged on his shoulders and made averything seem so confusing. He was fighting a battle in his mind, his dreams against common sense (which he seemed to lack), and all the while, the paper was being crisscrossed with ink.

_I see you're thinking. You'll have to do much of that in the future. Powers? Oh. Do you want them back? I can give you some, my son. Escape is a dumb thought without any powers, right? Maybe having some will bring you some more confidence, which will allow you yo make a choice. It seems like you're desperate for a choice now, aren't you? Yes. You do. I will help you son. Ask for powers, I will give them to you. Ask for life, I will give you some. Ask for success, I will help you. Ask for anything, be willing to pay, and you could do almost anything. _

Meanwhile, Rin ended the mini war inside his head by answering to his common sense with an annoyed whatever. He looked at the paper and was surprised to see so much spidery handwriting.

Then, even more surprised at what it read. Power? So then... this father figure would grant him power?

"How?" he asked. He didn't realize it, but the cell was void of any sound other then his talking. The prisinors were being completely silent.

_All I need you to do is return the favor. _

**Im sorry if its a bit repetitive...or uninteresting... IM TRYING TO TAKE IT SOMEWHERE, and hopefully im succeeding *stupid grin* yeah. ignore my dumb confidence. Im trying my best to put myself in rin's shoes, but I would be so confused that I wouldnt no what to feel...**

**forgive my grammer mistakes. I dont know the difference between then and than so I apologize... I havent seen the new episode (though I heard its awesome :D)...**

**So. thanks for reading, and.. I hope to have not displeased you... *stupid grin***


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